The Joys of Parenting
by Hikari Kaitou
Summary: Snapshots of Germany and Italy's married life with their children Chibitalia and HRE. Just some innocent fluff written for the GerIta secret Santa exchange on LJ.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **I wrote this story for the GerIta secret Santa exchange on LJ. For some reason, this story gave me soooo much trouble, though for the life of me I can't understand why. It's not even like it was that strange or specific a request… Anyway, here it is, finally finished. I'm so nervous about it. But my wonderful betas were a big help in making me a little more confident about it, so let's give a hand to Jeeperscreeperz, doomy slasher, and Twilight Rose!

Since my recipient preferred human names, I had to make up some for these kids since they don't have them in canon. Chibitalia is, of course, Feliciano, but I needed a way to distinguish him from adult Italy, so I'll mainly be calling him "Feli-chen" in this story. "Chen" is a German diminutive, and is, to my limited understanding, similar to the Japanese "chan". Italy will call Feli-chen "Felicino" since "ino" is the Italian diminutive. I had to get a bit creative for Holy Roman Empire. Since I already have two characters with the same name, I decided to give HRE a new name: Benni. Hopefully that works for everyone. Also, even though I'm using human names, this is not intended to be a human!AU; they're still meant to be countries.

* * *

**I.**

Ludwig gratefully returned home after work that chilly winter Friday to a warm house filled with the overpoweringly delicious scent of something chocolaty baking, the sounds of his husband singing to himself as he worked in the kitchen and his four-year-old twin boys playing in the front room. The blond man shut the garage door rather loudly in order to announce his return and waited.

"Daddy's home!" he heard Benni gasp excitedly.

Ludwig couldn't help smiling at the sound of little bare feet pattering on the wooden floor as they rushed to greet him.

"Daddy!" Feli-chen cried joyfully.

The German man laughed softly as his sons latched onto his legs, hugging as tight as they could. He crouched down to scoop them into his muscular arms, Benni in his right and Feliciano, Jr., or Feli-chen as Ludwig called him, in his left. He pressed a kiss to the top of each boy's head. Feliciano senior soon joined them in the entryway in his light blue apron, a smudge of chocolate across his bottom lip from when he had tasted the dessert he was preparing.

"Welcome home, Ludwig," Feliciano greeted with a warm smile.

Ludwig leaned forward awkwardly so that he could kiss Feliciano over his sons' heads. Feliciano's lips were so soft and delicious that he stole another kiss, and then another.

"I drew you a picture of a doggie today," Feli-chen reported, seemingly oblivious to his parents' preoccupation. "Daddy likes doggies."

"I drew a dinosaur," Benni said proudly.

"I can't wait to see them," Ludwig replied.

"I'll show you!" Feli-chen said eagerly.

Ludwig put their children down and they scurried off to retrieve their drawings. He took the opportunity now that the kids were occupied to pull Feliciano close.

"Something smells wonderful," he commented, kissing along Feliciano's neck.

"I made budino al cioccolato," Feliciano hummed, nuzzling his cheek against Ludwig's chest and rubbing his husband's back lazily. "Did Ludwig have a good day at work?"

"It was fine as far as work days go," Ludwig answered. "But I'm glad to be home for the weekend."

"I'm glad Ludwig's home, too," Feliciano said softly.

Their conversation was interrupted by the return of their children, both of whom were clutching drawings in their little hands. Ludwig smiled and squatted down again so that the boys could show him their pictures. Feli-chen handed his over first, smiling brightly as his father viewed his work of art. It depicted a grinning rainbow-colored creature sitting outside a misshapen lump that appeared to be a doghouse, a huge yellow smiling sun shining overhead surrounded by a few fat, puffy clouds. Feli-chen was still developing his skills as an artist, but even at this stage, Ludwig could tell that he had inherited at least some of Feliciano's abilities. The drawing was quite a bit better than he would have expected from the average four-year-old.

"This is wonderful, Feli-chen!" Ludwig said. "I like the colors."

Feli-chen let out a happy little hum, his upper body twisting from side to side at the waist with pleasure at the compliment. "The doggie was painting a picture and got paint on him. That's why he's all those different colors," he explained.

"I see," Ludwig said with a smile. "Thank you, I was wondering about that. What did you draw, Benni?"

"A T-Rex," Benni answered, handing over his drawing.

Benni didn't quite have the artistic prowess that Feli-chen possessed, but he was still proficient. The red creature that was supposed to be the dinosaur had a head that was too large to have been supported by its body, and there was a large emphasis placed on its sharp teeth. The background was sparser than in Feli-chen's drawing, containing only a blue mass which Ludwig surmised was meant to be a lake and some yellow dots floating in the air as well as a green… something under the dinosaur's foot.

"Are the yellow spots… stars?" Ludwig guessed.

"Fireflies," Benni said.

"Ooh, I like fireflies!" Feliciano piped up. "Nice idea, Benni!"

The blond child smiled shyly.

"What is this that he's stepping on?" Ludwig pointed to the green blob.

"Broccoli," Benni said, "'cause it's yucky."

Ludwig chuckled and ruffled his son's hair. "This is very good, Benni."

"Ve, I'm so proud of my little artists!" Feliciano cried, clapping his hands joyfully.

"Is it alright if I hang them in my office with the others?" Ludwig asked. It would be a task to find somewhere to put them; his walls were already plastered with his children's masterpieces. There was hardly a blank space of wall to be seen, but he would figure something out.

"Ok!" Feli-chen sang as Benni nodded quietly at his side.

The kitchen timer chose that convenient moment to go off, signaling that the budino was done baking. Feliciano hurried away to remove them from the oven while Ludwig went to put the drawings in his office to be hung up later and joined his family in the kitchen. Feliciano was setting the tray of little chocolate desserts on a cooling rack, the children watching with rapt interest.

"Can we eat them right now?" Feli-chen asked hopefully.

"Well, not _right_ now," Feliciano replied. "They're still pretty hot. I wouldn't want you guys to burn your mouths. Let's give them a little time to cool off and then we can eat, ok?"

"Shouldn't we wait until after dinner?" Ludwig suggested with a slight frown. "It's not healthy to spoil our appetites with sweets."

"Huuuuuh?" the other three whined in unison.

"But… but it's only four thirty!" Feliciano pointed out. "Dinner's not until seven thirty… three hours is long enough to get our appetites back, right? And! And look how tiny they are! We won't be full after just that, right?"

"Please, Daddy?" Benni requested, looking up at him with large, hopeful blue eyes.

"Pleeeeeease?" Feliciano and Feli-chen begged.

Ludwig sighed, knowing that it was difficult enough resisting one of them but all three at once was damn near impossible. Feliciano was supposed to be on his side, for crying out loud. But Ludwig told himself that he couldn't very well expect Feliciano, king of the gourmands, to be suddenly resistant to the temptation of desserts just because they now had children. Besides, those budinos _did_ smell really, really good.

"Well… I suppose just this once wouldn't hurt," he relented.

"Yay!" the other three cheered.

Feli-chen and Benni expressed their gratitude by hugging his legs and Feliciano happily kissed his lips. Ludwig couldn't bite back a small smile, even though he hadn't gotten his way. He set about making some coffee for him and Feliciano to have with their desserts. Ten minutes later, because Feliciano and the children couldn't wait any longer than that, the four of them were sitting down at the table together. Feli-chen bounced excitedly in his seat as Ludwig scooped out a small serving of vanilla ice cream and deposited it into his bowl beside the cupcake-sized budino. Even calm and serious little Benni was swinging his feet back and forth under the table in anticipation.

Ludwig served the children first, then Feliciano and finally himself. Benni punctured the thin cake crust of the budino and watched the molten chocolate inside rush out. He scooped some of the chocolate sauce up on his spoon and drizzled it over his ice cream. At his side, Feli-chen was already digging in messily, immediately getting chocolate on his face. Feliciano was only a little cleaner about his eating; he managed to get chocolate on his lips fairly quickly, though to Ludwig's mild disappointment it melted away when Feliciano took a sip of his hot coffee. Ludwig never turned down chocolate-flavored kisses from Feliciano when the opportunity presented itself. He partook of his own portion and sighed in satisfaction.

"Good?" Feliciano asked sweetly.

"Perfect, of course," Ludwig assured him with a kiss, "as always."

Feliciano grinned and took another bite of his dessert.

"Um, after this," Feli-chen began, seemingly unaware of his chocolate beard and mustache combo, "after this can we play outside? I wanna make a snowman!"

"Sounds like lots of fun to me!" Feliciano chirped. "What do Benni and Ludwig think?"

"Ok," Benni agreed.

"Count me in," Ludwig said.

"Yay!" Feli-chen cheered.

Benni glanced over at his twin and frowned slightly at the sight of his messy face. He picked up his napkin and began to wipe away the chocolate.

"You got your face all dirty again," Benni huffed. "Be more careful."

"I'm sorry," Feli-chen said, his voice muffled by the napkin.

When his face was clean, Feli-chen leaned over and gave his brother a thank-you kiss on the cheek. Benni wrinkled his nose slightly and wiped the chocolaty lip-mark away on his sleeve absentmindedly as he finished up his budino. Ludwig and Feliciano gathered up the dishes and placed them in the sink.

"Now, who's ready to go out and play in the snow?" Feliciano chirped.

"Me!" the boys answered enthusiastically, almost simultaneously.

"Alright! Let's go get our coats on!" Feliciano cried.

The four of them gathered in the entryway once more, Ludwig and Feliciano pausing to help Benni and Feli-chen into their coats, boots and gloves before venturing out into the pure white wonderland.

* * *

**A/N: **Please note that I will not be posting the second chapter on this site, due to its semi-explicit nature. I have placed it on my personal journal, as I did with Steam and Suds and How to Say Thanks in Italian, and friends locked it in an attempt to prevent underaged readers from getting at it. If you want to see it, the link to my journal is in my profile. You must comment, saying that you want me to add you as a friend and your age MUST be displayed on your LJ profile in order to be approved. However, missing the second chapter will not hurt your ability to understand the story, so don't worry about it too much.


	2. Chapter 2

**III.**

The night of Wednesday, July 7th was a night spent at home for the Weillschmidt-Vargas family, though by no means was it a quiet one. It was the world cup semi-finals, after all, and both Feliciano and Ludwig were major soccer fans. Normally they would have gone to see the game in person, but they had agreed that it was probably best if they didn't take such small children to the stadium for such a high profile game. It would be terrible if they got separated or if the kids got injured by the rush of an over-enthusiastic crowd after the game let out.

They were eating in front of the TV tonight (with a plastic tarp set up underneath the collapsible table, of course. Ludwig wasn't about to risk anything getting on the carpet). Feli-chen and Benni were watching the game with mild interest, though they were too young to really be excited by it. They were more interested in the spread of snacks and by the fact that they were being allowed to eat in the living room, something that their father had never permitted before.

Ludwig was so wrapped up in the game that he was ignoring the food in front of him in favor of focusing on the TV screen, his hands clenched into tight fists on the tabletop. As the ball neared Spain's goal, he rose slowly to a strange half-standing, half-squatting position in his excitement, ready to jump up and cheer loudly if his team scored a point. Feliciano was similarly entranced, munching chips in rapid little bites, though someone probably could have snuck in a piece of paper among them and he would have devoured it without even noticing. Benni munched another cookie slowly, a small frown on his face.

"Which guys are the good guys again?" he asked his father.

"The guys in white," Ludwig mumbled distractedly.

"I like the red guys," Feli-chen said, licking melted chocolate from the cookie he had eaten from his delicate little fingers. "Their uniforms are prettier."

"Don't cheer for them!" Benni warned, looking a bit scandalized. "They're the bad guys!"

"The red guys are Uncle Antonio's team, right?" Feli-chen pointed out. "Uncle Antonio's not a bad guy."

Ludwig was almost fully standing now. His team had brought the ball within goal range. The ball was passed to Germany's midfielder Kroos and he gave it a good hard kick in the direction of the goal. Ludwig and Feliciano shouted and jumped in premature celebration as the ball sailed toward the net… only to be bounced away when Spain's goalie Casillas dove in front of it. Feliciano let out a loud groan of disappointment.

"Ffff…!" Ludwig bit his lip, catching himself just in time before the cuss word slipped out in front of his four-year-old sons. "Casillas, you jerk! Just… go sit on a pin!" he finished lamely.

"Go sit on six pins!" Feliciano echoed angrily, not seeming to notice just how weak an insult it was.

"But… won't his bottom hurt if he sits on a pin?" Feli-chen asked, puzzled. His daddies were such kind and gentle people; the child couldn't imagine why they would want to inflict pain on anyone and figured that they had simply forgotten that sitting on a pin would hurt.

"How many times do I gotta tell you?" Benni sighed, looking at his twin with an expression of mild impatience. "They're _bad guys_. We _want_ their bottoms to hurt so then they can't block when our guy tries to make a goal!"

Feli-chen considered this with a thoughtful little frown. He supposed it made sense, but it was still mean.

Ludwig dropped back into his chair again, dejected, and took a sullen swallow of beer. They had been so close to making that goal! If only that bastard Casillas hadn't interfered. Ludwig was half starting to wish that he had some friends who weren't watching the game who could take care of the kids. It wasn't often that Ludwig had a healthy outlet for his bottled up frustrations and watching a good soccer match always provided the perfect and sorely needed opportunity. It just wasn't the same, however, when he was forced to censor himself for the children's sake.

Unfortunately, he had only three options: Antonio and Lovino (Antonio who was playing in the game, though he was currently on the bench, and Lovino who was watching from the stands. Besides, Lovino never controlled his mouth and he was a bit cold towards Benni, obviously because of his resemblance to Ludwig), Gilbert and Roderich (who were also watching the game, and Gilbert's language wasn't much better than Lovino's), and finally Elizaveta (who was at Gilbert and Roderich's under the pretense of watching the game, though he suspected she was really there to watch Gilbert and Roderich's interactions in that curiously hungry way of hers). He sighed, resigning himself to the self-censoring.

Spain's team was being allowed to make a corner kick. Feliciano leaned across the table with a napkin in hand to wipe the chocolate from Feli-chen's face, but was watching the TV intently and not paying attention to whether he was hitting the intended target. Poor little Feli-chen sputtered as his nose was smushed unexpectedly by the napkin and Feliciano withdrew inattentively. Ludwig's teeth clenched hard as Spain's midfielder Xavi Hernández drew his leg back to make the kick. It happened at lightning speed: the ball soared toward the cluster of players knotted in front of Germany's team's goal, bounced sharply off of Carles Puyol's head and sailed into the goal, right through German goalie Neuer's fingertips.

"No!" Feliciano shrieked, jumping to his feet again and nearly overturning the table.

"Neuer, you stupid-!" Ludwig began, his face reddening with suppressed rage.

"Fucking dumbass!" a childish voice shouted.

Ludwig and Feliciano turned to look at each other in shock before letting their gazes fall on Feli-chen, who was standing in his chair, his little fists clenched in front of him mutinously. Benni didn't know what was going on, but his parents were staring at his brother, looking horrified, so Benni looked at him, too. Feli-chen noticed everyone looking at him and his look of anger fell into a look of puzzlement.

"Vi?" he squeaked.

"Feli-chen…" Ludwig began quietly, "where did you hear those words?"

"Vi? Vi? What words?" he asked. He didn't know why his parents were looking at him like that, but it was making him nervous.

"Those words you just said," Ludwig said. "Did Uncle Gilbert teach them to you? Gosh darn it, Gilbert… I told him to watch his mouth around the kids! I knew he was a bad choice for a babysitter…"

"Felicino," Feliciano said, his face uncharacteristically serious, as he put his hands of Feli-chen's shoulders, "those are very bad words. It makes Daddy sad when you say such bad words. Where did you hear them?"

"I… I heard them…" Feli-chen trailed off, his normally cheerful brown eyes filling with tears as his bottom lip trembled.

He couldn't stand the way his daddies were looking at him and he hadn't meant to hurt anyone's feelings, honest! The child didn't even know what the words meant. His face reddened and tears began to roll down his chubby cheeks. Feliciano gathered the boy into his arms and rubbed his back as he kissed the top of his head.

"It's ok, Felicino," Feliciano assured him quietly. "I know you didn't mean to do anything wrong. You're not in trouble, ok? Just tell me who taught you those words."

Feli-chen sniffled and peeked out from Feliciano's embrace over his arm, then pointed a shaky little finger at Ludwig. Ludwig gaped at the accusing finger pointing in his direction.

"M-me?" he stammered, dumbfounded. "But I… When did you…?"

"Last t-time you watched soccer," Feli-chen mumbled.

Ludwig tried to think back to the last game they'd watched. It must have been the Germany vs. Argentina match a few days ago. He and Feliciano had put Benni and Feli-chen down for siesta before watching it. Ludwig had figured that he wouldn't have to censor himself so diligently if the children were asleep, but apparently he'd been mistaken. The blond man flushed, feeling ashamed of himself, first for having corrupted his own child, and second for having blamed it on Gilbert.

"Ah, well…" Ludwig paused and cleared his throat awkwardly. "I made a mistake. I shouldn't have said those words… So, er… Don't say them again, ok?"

Feli-chen sniffled again and nodded.

"I didn't know grown-ups could make mistakes," Benni said in quiet awe.

"Oh sure, we do it all the time," Feliciano replied with a small smile. "I used to cause Ludwig so much trouble with my mistakes!"

_You _still_ cause trouble_, Ludwig thought. _…But it looks like _I'm_ the one who messed up this time._

An uneasy silence fell over the four of them and Ludwig was thankful for the noise of the TV that made the quiet between them less obvious. Still feeling sheepish, he returned his attention to the game. The score read _Germany: 0_. How appropriate.


	3. Chapter 3

**IV.**

Gilbert whistled cheerfully to himself as he parked his car in his brother's driveway. When Gilbert had called the other day and told his little brother that his boyfriend Roderich was going to be working late tonight and hinted that he wondered if he'd die of loneliness, Ludwig had graciously invited him to have dinner with the family. Ludwig had been a bit shy about inviting him as usual and Gilbert may have had to whine a little in order to cajole him, but it had all worked out fine in the end.

Gilbert glanced down at his watch as he made his way to the front door of Ludwig and Feliciano's house. He was a little early. Scratch that; he was a lot early—a full hour, to be exact. Well, that was ok, right? After all, Ludwig was his brother and Feliciano was his brother-in-law and the boys were his nephews; heck, he practically owned a part of the house! It was with that logic in mind that Gilbert opened the front door of the Weillschmidt-Vargas house without knocking and let himself inside.

The boys were playing with some little metal toy cars on the floor when Gilbert entered the house. He grinned as they looked up in surprise. Their surprise turned to smiles and Gilbert laughed and crouched down, spreading his arms to accept the two children who scrambled to their feet to greet him like faithful puppies. Feli-chen latched onto him without a hint of shyness while Benni, who was a bit more reserved when dealing with those who weren't immediate family members, stopped just short of throwing his arms around him but let Gilbert sweep him into a hug all the same.

"Uncle Gilbert!" Feli-chen cheered.

"Yo, how's it going, bitty-Feli and mini-West?" Gilbert asked, unable to swallow his huge smile. Man, he loved being surrounded with cute things, and his nephews were just about the cutest things in the world. "How are you guys?"

"Good!" Feli-chen chirped.

"We helped Daddy make a cake for after supper today," Benni told him proudly.

"Whoa, seriously?" Gilbert said. "You guys are big enough to help your dad cook already? That's awesome!"

"Yep, we helped a lot," Feli-chen said with a sunny smile. "I tasted some when Daddy wasn't looking and it was so yummy! You'll try some, right, Uncle Gilbert?"

"Sure! If you guys made it, I'm sure it'll kick ass!"

"I thought I heard your voice," Ludwig said, appearing near the doorway with a stern frown. "How many times do I have to tell you to watch your language in front of the children?"

"I have no idea what you mean, West," Gilbert said innocently. "I totally said 'butt' just now, didn't I kids?"

"No, you said the 'a' word," Feli-chen corrected him.

"You did, I heard you," Benni echoed.

"Oi, you guys trying to get me in trouble?" Gilbert hissed desperately. "I thought we were bros! First rule of bro-dom after 'never steal a bro's lay' is 'always lie to save a bro when he's about to get chewed out'! C'mon you guys, this is basic—ow! Ow! What the hell, West?"

Ludwig, who had grabbed his older brother by the ear, pulled him to his feet, glaring. "I'm fine with having you over for dinner once in a while, but not if you're going to be spewing profanities and teaching my sons your twisted morals. Either follow my rules when you're in my home or go back to your own."

"Don't be such a wet blanket, West," Gilbert pouted. "I filled your head with my twisted morals every day when you were a kid and you still turned out way too serious for your own good. And would you let go of my ear already? You're gonna tear it off!"

Ludwig stared him down for another moment before releasing Gilbert's ear. Gilbert rubbed it gingerly and backed away from him.

"My conditions still stand," Ludwig warned him before turning and going back to the kitchen to continue helping Feliciano cook dinner.

"Jeez, West, you're so not cute," Gilbert mumbled.

"You got in trouble," Feli-chen said, looking a bit awestruck.

He knew that his daddy could punish him if he was being bad, but he wasn't aware that he also had authority over other grownups. Not only that, but Feli-chen was pretty sure Uncle Gilbert was his daddy's older brother. Didn't that mean that Uncle Gilbert should get to tell his daddy what to do? Feli-chen didn't really understand. The world was a mysterious place.

"Ahh, let's just forget about that," Gilbert said quickly, waving the comment aside with a slight blush. Stupid West, making him look uncool in front of Feli-chen and Benni. "You guys're playing with cars, huh? I wanna play, too!"

"Ve, Gilbert's here already!" Feliciano chirped, coming out of the kitchen to greet his guest. He skipped over and kissed Gilbert once on each cheek in greeting, not noticing the way Gilbert's already flushed face pinked a little more at the kisses. "Ciao, Gilbert~ I'm sorry you had to get in trouble right when you came in the door."

"Yeah, well… that's West for ya," he said sagely. "Once a stick-in-the-mud, always a stick-in-the-mud."

"But I think as long as you don't say any bad words in front of Benni and Felicino, or teach them any bad habits, you probably won't get yelled at again," Feliciano reminded him cheerfully. "Dinner won't be ready for a little while so why don't you play with the kids while you're waiting?"

"You bet I will!" Gilbert assured him with a grin.

"Have fun!" Feliciano said brightly as he turned to head back to the kitchen.

Gilbert plopped down on the floor beside the kids. "Hook me up with an awesome ride, Benni."

Benni pieced thoughtfully through the cars that weren't being played with, then selected a shiny deep blue one that looked a like a Lamborghini Concept S. He plucked it out of its plastic storage tray and held it up for Gilbert's consideration.

"That's what I'm talking about," Gilbert said approvingly. "I like your style, little dude."

Benni smiled shyly at the praise.

"Look, mine looks like Daddy's Kübelwagen!" Feli-chen sang, showing Gilbert his little car.

"Hey, you're right," Gilbert agreed.

"I can drive it like my other daddy," Feli-chen said. "Wanna see? Uncle Gilbert, wanna see?"

"I'm watching," Gilbert replied.

"Like this." Feli-chen made the little car swerve violently back and forth, producing dramatic car noises with his mouth.

Gilbert cackled. "That's perfect, Feli-chen!"

"Let's race 'em," Benni proposed.

"You're on, mini-West!" Gilbert accepted boisterously. "Just try not to cry when I kick your butt!"

"I won't cry!" Benni said determinedly. "I'm gonna win!"

"Impossible!" Gilbert declared. "The awesome me never loses!"

"Can I race, too?" Feli-chen asked.

"Sure, Feli-chen," Gilbert said. "Here, line 'em up along here. I get to start ahead of you because I'm freaking cool…"

"Hey, that's cheating!" Benni protested. "Get back here!"

Gilbert laughed and moved his car back so that it was even with the boys'. The kids flopped down on their stomachs behind their cars, preparing to push them with all their might. Gilbert mimicked them, lying down on the floor beside them and rolling his car back and forth in preparation. "Alright… Ready, set…go!"

* * *

Dinner that evening was a lively affair. Feliciano and Ludwig had worked together on some handmade ravioli, Caesar salad, sourdough bread and a platter containing a variety of olives. Personally, Gilbert was biased and couldn't help preferring the food he and Roderich prepared together when Roderich had time to cook with him, but there was no denying that the food was outstanding. The five of them had chatted animatedly over the meal, sharing anecdotes from their day, laughing together (even Ludwig had joined in the laughter at one point), and enjoying expertly prepared Italian cuisine. The only way Gilbert could have seen for the dinner to be more enjoyable would be if Roderich had been able to join them. Feli-chen and Benni both insisted on being seated on either side of him, so he wasn't sure where Roderich would have fit in if he had been present. Perhaps on his lap; Gilbert wouldn't have protested to that at all.

Once all the dinner dishes had been cleared away, they took a brief break while Ludwig made some coffee to go with dessert. Feliciano got up to help Ludwig bring the coffee to the table and Feli-chen and Gilbert cheered enthusiastically when Ludwig reappeared in the dining room, carrying a rich-looking black forest cake. Benni didn't verbalize his excitement upon seeing the dessert, but the smile that lit up his face was enough to reveal it.

Feli-chen dug right in as soon as he got his portion, getting whipped cream on his lips and the tip of his nose almost right away. Gilbert laughed adoringly as he dug out his cell phone and flipped it open.

"Give Uncle Gilbert a smile, Feli-chen."

Feli-chen gave him a giant sunny grin so sweet that it nearly melted Gilbert's heart as he snapped a picture.

"Maaan, you're just too cute," he sighed, stroking the child's hair affectionately. He turned to Benni who was carefully licking some cream off of one of the cherries he'd picked off his slice of cake and snapped his picture as well. "You're both way too cute."

When the last of the dessert had been devoured and the dishes had been washed and put away, the five of them wandered into the living room, feeling full and content. Ludwig flopped down on the couch and let out a long, weary sigh. Feliciano stretched himself out on top of him, resting his head happily on his husband's chest. Ludwig curled his muscular arms around him and he placed a kiss in his silky hair.

"Ve~ all that cooking wore me out," Feliciano said.

"That was some pretty kick-a…" Gilbert paused at the glare Ludwig was sending him and scrambled to rethink his word choice. "Uh, that was some pretty kick-_butt_ grub."

"Hmm hmm," Feliciano grinned, pleased with the compliment. "Thanks, Gilbert. Ludwig and I really tried our best to make it extra yummy for you. Ve, Ludwig's probably tired, too, huh?"

"Ah, yeah," Ludwig admitted. Then he sighed resignedly. "But we can't let ourselves relax too much yet. We still have to give Feli-chen and Benni a bath before we go to bed tonight."

"Eh?" Feli-chen squeaked, his face falling.

"Do we have to?" Benni asked, looking similarly displeased.

"I'm afraid so; it's been three days since your last one," Ludwig pointed out. He frowned slightly. "I didn't think you guys minded baths."

"It's no fun," Feli-chen pouted.

"And Uncle Gilbert is here," Benni added.

"Yeah, we wanna play with Uncle Gilbert some more!" Feli-chen agreed.

Gilbert couldn't help smirking at that. "They may be kids, but they still recognize awesome when they see it, huh? I wouldn't expect any less from nephews of mine."

Ludwig rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I don't have the energy to argue with you right now. Please just do as you're told."

"We don't wanna," Feli-chen whined. "Can't we take our bath tomorrow night when Uncle Gilbert is gone?"

"Dude, I can't believe you guys don't like baths!" Gilbert said, figuring he could lend his little bro a hand after he and Feliciano had just provided him with a free meal. "They're awesome!"

"I dunno what's so fun about sitting in water," Benni commented sullenly.

"Seriously?" Gilbert said, feigning disbelief. "You guys must not be doing it right. Don't tell me you don't know how."

"What do you mean?" Benni asked with a little frown of puzzlement. "Don't you just get in and wash off and then you're done?"

Gilbert smirked again. "Maaan, you guys really are just kids, huh? That's not how you do it at all! Of course it'd be boring if you just do that!"

"Ve, maybe Uncle Gilbert wouldn't mind giving you guys your bath," Feliciano suggested. He stifled a small yawn and rubbed his eyes. A belly full of pasta and sweets followed by warm hugs and kisses from Ludwig always made him feel so sleepy. He wanted nothing more right now than to crawl into bed and cuddle with his husband until they fell asleep. To tell the truth, he didn't want to give the kids a bath right now any more than they wanted to take one.

The children considered this briefly, before turning a hopeful gaze on their uncle. Gilbert grinned.

"Sure thing, leave it to the awesome me! I'll show you how it's done!"

His agreement wasn't totally selfless; Ludwig and Feliciano had a really big, nice hot tub-style bath that he'd wanted to try out ever since Feliciano had talked Ludwig into letting them get one installed. Gilbert had been trying to persuade Roderich to let them get one like it, but Roderich really only splurged on food and had firmly shot him down every time. Therefore, if he wanted to take a bath in a nice spacious tub, he would have to commandeer Ludwig and Feliciano's.

"Can we wear our swim suits?" Feli-chen asked eagerly. "It'll be like a pool party!"

"Ooh, nice idea, Feli-chen," Gilbert complimented. "Oi West! Lend me your swim shorts!"

"They're in the beach bag in the laundry room closet," Ludwig said.

"Let's go get changed, little dudes!" Gilbert said, waving the kids toward the laundry room to get their suits. The children scampered after him excitedly.

"I wonder if this is a good idea," Ludwig mumbled. "If I know Brother, he'll leave the bathroom a complete wreck when they're done."

"But I don't wanna get up," Feliciano replied sleepily. "Ludwig is… so nice and warm…"

Ludwig couldn't help smiling a little as Feliciano tilted his head so that their lips could meet softly, lazily.

"Besides, will he really be that bad?" Feliciano asked. "I don't really mind cleaning up a little water on the floor."

"I _hope_ that's all it'll be," Ludwig grunted, feeling slightly apprehensive. "Guess we'll just have to take our chances; I don't exactly feel like getting up, either."

Feliciano giggled softly as Ludwig hugged him and nuzzled his nose affectionately into his hair.

"I love you, Ludwig," Feliciano said quietly.

"Love you, too," Ludwig whispered, sealing his declaration with a tender kiss.

* * *

"I found the bubble bath, Uncle Gilbert," Benni announced, holding up a pink bottle.

"Awesome, toss it over here," Gilbert requested.

Benni tossed it clumsily in Gilbert's direction. Gilbert caught it in his fingertips, flipped open the lid and squeezed out a huge gush under the running tap water. Feli-chen had his little hands on the ledge of the tub and was bouncing excitedly as he watched the liquid soap turn to bubbles.

"More! More!" he urged with a giggle.

Gilbert obliged, squeezing out another large rush of bubble bath.

"Isn't that too much?" Benni asked with a little frown. "Daddy always tells us to only use what we need."

"It's fine to splurge once in a while," Gilbert assured him easily. "Besides, isn't it more fun with a whole shi—uh, a whole bunch of bubbles?"

Benni patted the top of the huge layer of bubbles sitting on their bathwater and a little smile tugged at his lips. He'd never seen so many bubbles before. Maybe it was kind of cool this way. Besides, Uncle Gilbert had said that their way of taking a bath was all wrong. Perhaps this was how one went about doing it the correct way.

"Where do you guys keep the bath toys?" Gilbert asked, digging through the various drawers, not bothering to pick up things when he knocked them onto the floor. "Ah ha! Here we go!"

The white-haired man selected a few boats, a rubber ducky that reminded him a bit of his dear Gilbird, a submarine, and a rubbery fish that could suck up water and shoot it out of its mouth when squeezed. The boys were already getting into the water, sinking in up to their shoulders when they sat down on the underwater ledge that lined the inside of the extra deep tub. They had to manually scoop out a little hole in the bubbles for themselves to sit in so that they could breathe without inhaling them. Gilbert snatched a wash cloth before shutting off the tap and climbing in with them. He sighed contentedly as he settled into the pleasantly warm water.

"Hey, how do you turn on the jets in this thing?" Gilbert asked.

Benni poked a button on the wall, starting up the jets. Feli-chen giggled as the water rushed past his side, tickling him. Benni smiled as he placed his hands in the jet's path, creating a little fountain effect as he obstructed the current.

"Hey!" Benni said in surprise as a little stream of water hit him in the chest. He looked up at Gilbert, who was smirking and aiming the water gun fish at him.

"You guys ready to get this party started?" Gilbert shouted.

"Yeah!" the boys replied enthusiastically.

* * *

"Kesesese! It's no good! You'll never be able to sink the invincible SMS _Gilbird_!" Gilbert cackled, shooting his nephew's brightly colored plastic tugboats with the water gun fish he held in place on the back of the rubber ducky.

"This is bad…" Benni mumbled seriously to Feli-chen. "We can't do this alone; he's too strong!"

"Who can we call for help?" Feli-chen whispered back. "Do you think Daddy would come?"

"Oh ho, what's wrong, guys?" Gilbert smirked. "Giving up and calling for your dads? Wow, that's pretty lame! No soldier I know would ever do that!"

"W-we were not!" Benni insisted. Then he turned to Feli-chen again and lowered his voice confidentially. "We'll have to call for backup ships. Maybe the U-boat…!"

"Why don't you just admit it? You little punks are no match for the great and powerful Admiral Gilbert!" Gilbert bragged, shooting another stream of water from the fish. The little tugboats were filling up and wouldn't be able to stay afloat much longer.

"We'll distract him and attack from below with the U-boat," Benni muttered to Feli-chen. "When I say 'three', I'll turn on the jets and you attack, ok?"

"Roger that!" Feli-chen agreed with a salute.

"What's this? Looks like bitty-Feli and mini West are plotting something…" Gilbert said, pretending that he hadn't overheard their entire conversation just now. Then he snorted and gave an exaggerated shrug. "But whatever! The awesome me is _so_ not worried!"

"One, two… three!" Benni hissed.

Feli-chen snatched the U-boat from the ledge of the tub and plunged it under water while Benni scrambled to push the button that would turn the bath jets back on. Gilbert feigned surprise and apprehension at their actions, but in reality, he had to bite the inside of his lip to keep from grinning. His nephews' plan was clumsily executed, but the general idea was fairly clever and he couldn't help being rather proud of them for it.

"Wh-what's going on?" Gilbert stammered in fake dismay. "The sea is foaming! Crap, I'm so distracted, I don't know where to look! Their back-up could come from anywhere!"

"Vi~ It's working!" Feli-chen chirped. "Here I come!"

"Dummy! Don't tell him that!" Benni scolded.

"Um… no one's coming; forget I said that!" Feli-chen squeaked in self-correction. He rushed the U-boat up under the rubber ducky, flipping it into the air. "Bam! Hee hee~ We tricked you, Uncle Gilbert!"

Gilbert watched with a smug smirk as the ducky hit the surface of the water, but automatically righted itself, bobbing along unharmed.

"Hey! But we hit it!" Benni gasped. "That's not fair!"

"Them's the breaks, kids," Gilbert sighed, shrugging and shaking his head. "Just face it; you're no match for the awesome me. But… the SMS _Gilbird_ should really be the least of your worries. Something ten-times… no, a hundred-times more evil is coming this way right this moment."

"Vi? Vi? Wh-what is it?" Feli-chen trembled. "No, Uncle Gilbert! I'm scared!"

Benni frowned as he saw his uncle's hand, covered by a wash cloth, submerge beneath the water, and swallowed nervously.

"Too bad, you guys," Gilbert grinned. "You picked the wrong person to mess with! You didn't know I could control sea monsters, too, didja?"

"Eeeek!" Feli-chen squealed, clutching on to Benni desperately. "No sea monsters!"

"It's too late now!" Gilbert shouted. "It's already on its way! It's… the washcloth kraken!"

He popped his washcloth covered hand out of the water and began to scrub in quick but gentle strokes along Feli-chen's neck and chest. Squeals of fear turned to laughter as Feli-chen squirmed, splashing water over the rim of the tub. Gilbert couldn't help chuckling as he jumped to Benni, scrubbing him, too. The more serious child tried to hold in his laughter, but it was no use; he was extremely ticklish. Gilbert's heart nearly turned to mush at the sight and sound of the normally somber boy's giggling and wished he had his phone so that he could take a picture.

"Your only hope of keeping it away is soap!" Gilbert announced over the boy's squealing and laughing. "But it may already be too late for you!"

Feli-chen fumbled with the bar of soap, rubbing it all over himself. Naturally, the washcloth kraken ignored it, scrubbing him all the same. It didn't work for Benni, either, but both boys were laughing too hard to really notice. Gilbert finished by squeezing the washcloth out over their heads, wetting their hair. When Gilbert was satisfied that they were clean, he let the washcloth kraken drift away. The children gasped, trying to catch their breath and wiped water and tears of amusement from their eyes.

"But the awesome me controls more than just the washcloth kraken," Gilbert announced, still smirking as he took a bottle of tear-free children's shampoo from the ledge of the tub. He squeezed some into his hands and rubbed them together. "I also control… the shampoo squids! Better close your eyes!"

Feli-chen clamped his eyes shut as the "shampoo squids" slipped into his hair and began to wash it. He squeaked and giggled as Gilbert's fingers massaged his scalp and that ticklish spot behind his ears. Gilbert added a bit more shampoo to his hands and gave Benni the same treatment.

"Uh oh, here comes a tidal wave! Better keep your eyes closed and hold your breath!" Gilbert warned.

The children drew in a deep breath and held it, puffing out their little cheeks. Gilbert swiped his arm across the surface of the water several times, dousing both boys, simultaneously washing the shampoo from their hair and getting water and bubbles all over the bathroom floor. Benni and Feli-chen released their breath with a gasp and wiped the water from their faces. Gilbert leaned back against the wall of the tub, smiling cockily.

"Yeeeeah, you guys put up a real cute fight and all, but in the end, it's the awesome me who kicks ass… butt, whatever," he teased. "Better luck next time, kiddies."

Benni pouted, recognizing his loss but not satisfied with it. He would have to come up with a new tactic for next time.

"You guys ready to get out now?" Gilbert asked as he stood.

"Yeah," Feli-chen agreed.

"My fingers are getting all wrinkly," Benni said, holding up his hands to show his uncle.

"Alright, I'll let you guys dry off and get your pajamas on, ok?" Gilbert said. He opened the drain on the tub and climbed out, snatching his towel from the counter, not caring as he dripped even more water on the already very wet and bubbly floor.

He offered his hand to each boy, holding them steady as the got out of the tub so that they wouldn't slip and hurt themselves. Once they were safely out of the tub, he left them to get dressed.

* * *

"I wish you could stay," Feli-chen said with a yawn as Gilbert tucked him and Romi into bed. Gilbert had taken over that job as well since Ludwig and Feliciano had dozed off on the couch.

"You're so cute, Feli-chen," Gilbert crooned, stroking his damp hair affectionately. "I wish I could stay longer, too."

"When are you and Uncle Roderich gonna come and sleep over?" Benni asked.

"Vi~ I want to see Uncle Roderich, too," Feli-chen agreed. "I like it when he lets me sit next to him while he plays the piano."

"And he makes good cake," Benni added, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Gilbert couldn't help the uncharacteristically soft smile that curled his lips as he recalled how adorable Roderich was when he interacted with their nephews. Roderich was rather shy and awkward around such young children. It had been different all those hundreds of years ago when he'd had authority over those kids, but he was a bit self-conscious when handling them in a situation that required him to be affectionate rather than strict. They would definitely all have to get together soon.

"Can't you stay just a little while longer?" Feli-chen begged.

"I wish I could, bitty-Feli, but I gotta get outta here before your dad wakes up and finds the mess we left in the bathroom," Gilbert said apologetically. "Besides, the young master is probably home by now and wondering where his awesome boyfriend is."

He leaned in and kissed each child on the forehead.

"Bye, Uncle Gilbert," Benni said.

"Come and see us again really soon, ok?" Feli-chen requested. "Tomorrow would be good."

"I dunno about tomorrow, but I'll come as soon as I can," Gilbert vowed as he switched on their nightlight and turned off the overhead one. "G'night, you guys."

"Good night," they replied in unison.

Gilbert smiled as he closed the door and proceeded to make himself scarce.


	4. Chapter 4

**V.**

Ludwig sighed wearily as he closed the garage door behind him. What an exhausting day; the first half had been spent writing economic revitalization proposals and the second half was devoted to listening to and critiquing ones written by his staff. It always surprised him how much non-physical activities like that could wear him out so quickly. Then again, maybe the reason for his fatigue was less about the writing and reviewing proposals and more about the fact that the current recession had left him a bit weakened and feverish. Thankfully, he was on the mend. The slamming of the door had, as usual, summoned his children to greet him.

"Daddy!" they cheered, hugging onto his legs.

Ludwig knelt down so that he could return their hugs somewhat less enthusiastically in his drained state than he normally would have. After a moment, he stood unsteadily to greet Feliciano. He wrapped his arms around his husband and held him tight, resting his blond head on Feliciano's shoulder. Feliciano's hand came up to stroke Ludwig's hair gently and kissed the back of his neck.

"Did Ludwig have a bad day?" he asked softly.

"Not particularly; just a long and exhausting one… Let's go sit down."

"Ah… sorry, Ludwig," Feliciano said, sounding genuinely apologetic. "Felicino and I were just about to leave. He needs some new shoes so I thought I should take him out and get some. Ve, is this a bad time? I guess I could go buy them tomorrow…"

Ludwig sighed resignedly and shook his aching head slightly. "No, it's fine. I can wait for you… If you happen to see some black socks in my size for a decent price, pick some up for me, will you?"

"Ok. I'm really sorry, Ludwig." Feliciano kissed him again. "I'll hurry, ok? Maybe you and Benni can spend a little time together while I'm out with Felicino."

"What's wrong with Daddy?" Feli-chen asked worriedly, clutching at the hem of his father's business shirt.

"Nothing, sweetie," Feliciano assured the child as he released Ludwig and took Feli-chen's hand. "Daddy just had a busy day. Come on, let's go get your new shoes, ok?"

"I want red ones!" Feli-chen chirped.

Feliciano laughed. "We'll see if we can find some nice ones in your size."

Ludwig watched Feliciano and Feli-chen leave in silence, then looked down at Benni. He offered the golden-haired child a small smile. "Did you have a good day today, Benni?" he asked, toeing off his shoes and making for the refrigerator for a much-needed cold beer.

Benni shrugged. "I guess. Feli-chen and I played outside and caught a frog today."

Ludwig popped the lid off the bottle of beer and took a long pull of the cold, bitter liquid. "A frog, I see… Was it a big one?"

"About this big," Benni said, holding his forefingers a few inches apart. "Feli-chen named him Linguini and was gonna ask Daddy if we could keep him but he got away."

Ludwig made his way into the front room and flopped down on the couch, deeply relieved that the work day was over. "Hmm… that's too bad."

Benni watched his father take another drink of beer with a small frown of concern on his face. Ludwig looked down at him when Benni put his little hands on his knee.

"Are you sad?" Benni asked quietly.

Ludwig gave his son a weary smile. "No, just tired. I had a really busy day at work today."

Benni's frown deepened. After a moment, he knelt down and laid his head on Ludwig's knee. As exhausted as he was, Ludwig couldn't keep his smile from softening at Benni's attempts to comfort him.

"Come here, Benni."

Benni obediently got to his feet again and crawled into Ludwig's lap. Ludwig set the nearly empty bottle of beer aside so that he could hug his son. Benni rested his head against Ludwig's chest and sighed. Ludwig stroked Benni's fine, fair hair affectionately and kissed the top of his head.

"Why don't we watch some TV together?" Ludwig proposed.

"Ok," Benni said.

Ludwig picked up the remote and flipped lazily through the channels. Eventually, he came to an educational show for children about polar bears and he paused. "Is this ok?"

Benni nodded. Ludwig set the remote aside and settled back into a reclining position on the couch, Benni curled up on top of him. The two of them watched the TV in companionable silence. Ludwig glanced down at the boy a few minutes later and smiled when he saw Benni slip his thumb into his mouth the way he always did when he was sleepy. He knew that thumb-sucking was a bad habit and that he should encourage Benni to stop because he was really getting too old for it, but he couldn't help finding it endearing.

Benni yawned, which set Ludwig off yawning. A nap didn't sound like such a bad idea. In fact, it sounded like a very good one. Benni's eyelids were already beginning to flutter sleepily. Ludwig pulled down the blanket that was folded over the back of the couch, shook it open and let it fall over him and Benni. He synchronized his breathing with Benni's as he closed his eyes and focused on the gentle rise and fall of his son's chest against his. To Ludwig's relief, sleep accepted him with open arms and he allowed his consciousness to slip away.

* * *

Feliciano and Feli-chen returned home with a pair of new shoes about forty-five minutes later. To Feli-chen's disappointment, they hadn't been able to find any red ones, but the ones they had chosen did have red on them so he was placated. Feliciano opened his mouth to announce their return, but stopped when he remembered how tired Ludwig had looked when he'd come home. If Ludwig had decided to take a siesta, he didn't want to risk waking him.

"Let's be quiet, ok?" Feliciano told Feli-chen. "Daddy might be sleeping."

Feli-chen nodded obediently. The two of them ventured into the front room, the box containing Feli-chen's new shoes in hand so that they could show Ludwig their purchase if he was awake. A wide, silly, affectionate smile spread across Feliciano's face when his eyes fell on Ludwig and Benni, who were curled up asleep together on the couch. It was just too adorable. Feliciano tiptoed over to the computer table where he kept his camera and snapped a picture of them.

"They're sleeping, huh?" Feli-chen whispered.

"We shouldn't bother them," Feliciano replied just as quietly. "Why don't we go out and get some gelato and play at the park for a while?"

"Yay!" Feli-chen cheered, forgetting to be quiet for a moment in his excitement. Realizing his mistake, he clapped his hands over his mouth. Luckily, his father and twin didn't stir. Feliciano laughed softly and opened the box containing Feli-chen's new shoes.

"Why don't you put these on and we'll go, ok?"

Humming cheerfully, Feli-chen sat down and put on his shoes while Feliciano scribbled a note to Ludwig about where they'd gone. He placed the note on the table next to his sleeping boys, securing the corner of the slip of paper under Ludwig's beer bottle. Feliciano smiled again as he looked down at Ludwig and Benni and couldn't help touching a soft kiss to the corner of Ludwig's lips. When Feli-chen had finished putting on his shoes, he took Feliciano's hand and the two of them headed out to the car again.


End file.
